Each of our five adopted babies came with a story that assured us they were meant to be ours. Adoptive parents know what I mean. This is the story of our fifth child.
Paul was born six weeks early, weighing only four and a half pounds. But first let’s go back to the time before we knew he existed. We knew we wanted another baby, and knew also that no agency at that time would help us since we already had four children. We had just moved to a different state and were walking down the mall corridor when we ran into a friend we had met years before when we lived in Germany where my husband Gary was serving in the United States Air Force.
Our friend was a lawyer. We have a philosophy that if you want to adopt a baby, tell everyone, because you never know who may have the right connections. So after the friendly chit chat with our lawyer friend we said, “Do you ever help people with adoptions?” He said he didn’t, but his partner did. We told him we were looking to adopt another baby and wondered if he could talk to his partner about us. He had us write our name and phone number on a piece of paper and said he would give it to him.
We didn’t hear anything until about two months later. His partner called and asked if he could come and visit us. As he sat with us in our home, he explained that when he received our name he told his partner, our friend, he had two babies on the way and four prospect parents– clients of his– who wanted the babies, so he wouldn’t be able to help us. He went on, “But as I sat in my office thinking and praying about who of these four clients should be the parents, something unusual happened. When I opened my eyes I saw the paper with your name and number. It had apparently fallen to the floor and right then, as I was pondering who I should choose, I saw it. I was surprised because you’re not even my clients. But I can’t deny the feeling I had when I saw your name. I knew then that one of these babies is meant to be yours. Are you still interested?”
“Yes!” was our resounding reply. We were thrilled. He said, “I need you to come in and we’ll do the necessary paperwork.” Then he added, “Now start praying for me to know which of these two babies is yours.” We believe in the power of prayer and we were happy to hear that he did, too. We knew God had directed our previous adoptions and He would help us yet again. So we prayed. It didn’t matter if the baby was a boy or a girl. We already had two of each.
Our Baby is Born
When the baby was born the lawyer knew which one was ours. He called with the news that we were now the parents of a baby boy. We were excited beyond words. But there was a problem. He was premature and weighed only four and a half pounds. We would not be allowed to see him yet. It was against the law of that state for the adoptive parents to come into the hospital. We checked with the lawyer every day to see how our baby was doing. It was torture knowing my baby was in the hospital without me there to love and nurture him. After three days we were told he would not eat. The doctors and nurses could not get him to suck on the bottle and he was losing weight every day. After four days of that I was beside myself with worry.
I could take it no longer. I called the lawyer and emphatically said, “You arrange for me to get into that hospital NOW! or I will break the law and go anyway!” I was one upset mama. My baby needed his mother, and he needed me immediately.
The lawyer called back and said, “Okay, I’ve arranged it. Meet me at the hospital.” My husband and I were there in record time. They put us in sterile gowns and took us to the isolation nursery. The doctor and a nurse brought the baby to us in a sterile area. She handed the baby to me. I will never forget the feeling of love I felt for that little boy.
I looked into his precious little face and gently spoke the words, “I’m your mommy, and I love you very much.” I asked for the bottle and the nurse handed it to me. I reiterated to my son, “You are my baby and I love you. Now eat for Mommy.” I put the nipple in his mouth, he looked up into my eyes and immediately began sucking. The nurse and doctor were stunned. He would not eat for them or anyone else, but he ate for me. He knew I was his mother. It was a miracle.
After a few minutes I handed him over to his daddy. Gary took the bottle and he ate for him, too. This little guy knew he was in the arms of his loving parents. Oh, yes, we knew he was meant to be our baby. When the lawyer heard the news, he knew it, too. He had made the right choice. We imagined that his biological mother was probably also praying for her baby to be placed with the right parents.
After that feeding I went back to the hospital every few hours to feed my baby. He ate heartily every time. After a day and a half of that the doctor said, “You can take him home. You are doing much more for him than we can do.”
The arrangements were made and, as per the law, we waited outside the hospital with our four children and our foster teenage daughter, as the nurse brought him to us. I took him in my arms and showed him to the other children. They were all so excited and happy to have a new little baby in our family. It was a gloriously happy day.
A Grandma to Love Him
Paul, age 2, with his grandmother.
After we arrived home his grandma came to see him. She adored him right off the bat. And he took to her with equal affection. As he grew to a toddler he loved climbing up on her lap and just sitting by her side. She read stories to him and the others. What a blessing to have grandma in their lives. Future visits from his other far-away grandparents made his life even richer. He was surrounded with love.
One More Validation
One year later, along with our lawyer, we were at the courthouse signing the adoption papers. Our lawyer’s other clients, the ones who adopted the other baby, were there at the same time. The other baby was a very petite little girl, very much like her adoptive mother. Our son was robust and very much like his adoptive father. One more evidence the lawyer had made the right choice.
Paul at age 8 months with his daddy.
He’s Now a Man
That was a long time ago. This tiny little baby is now a successful man, married to a woman we love and is daddy to six adorable children—our grandchildren! He has an MA degree and is an elementary school principal. He has a loving heart and lives his life in gratitude. He says, “You were meant to be my parents. It could be no other way.” We agree.
Paul, age 2, plays with his puppy.