I was a 23-year-old single mother of a two-year-old chronically ill child when I found out that I was pregnant. I knew within weeks that I wanted to place my child for adoption. I went to three agencies and looked through countless letters, looking for the family that had everything that I wanted. It was a very stressful time. At the last agency a frustrated social worker told me that I was just being difficult and I had set an impossible criteria to give me an excuse to not go through with it.
I was so upset I left there and went to my computer. I was determined to find out what my rights and options were. I happened upon Adoption.com Parent Profiles that had a listing of parents looking to adopt. Suddenly I was free to look at all the families there (not the ones a social worker picked for me to see) and I didn’t have to justify my standards to anyone. It was a miracle that the first family I saw met my criteria. Seeing that the results were so good with the first family I looked at every family.
After calling their contact person, I discovered that we were fortunate to live in the same city, We soon met at a restaurant (with our children who were the same age and very similar). I was six months pregnant then and for the rest of my pregnancy we saw each other almost weekly.
The pregnancy was such a wonderful time for both of us. The adoptive mother threw a party for my birthday and I got to meet most of their friends. When I went into labor a week early the adoptive mother was the first one I called. I was to have a C-section and I didn’t feel comfortable with them being in there so they waited in the nursery. My son was never alone. During my stay in the hospital, the adoptive mother stayed in the room with me. We stayed up all night the first night and talked. I felt like a young girl at a slumber party.
That was the beginning of a truly amazing relationship. I see them occasionally and every time it is like seeing an old friend. I am dramatically comforted by seeing how happy my son is and how wonderful his life is.
